new year new plants

So I’ve decided that this year I will tackle my list of new year things in a systematic fashion. I figured the easiest thing to do on the list would be to buy more plants to kill.I mean you would think that actually going and washing my hair would be the easiest thing but it isn’t. Also, I read somewhere that the longer you don’t wash your hair the better it is for it. Something to do with natural oil secretion. I think. Or it could just be really really gross.

So last week I went out and bought some more plants. The lady at the nursery looked at me and said ‘Weren’t you just here a couple of months ago? How are the plants doing?’

Now I wanted to tell her the truth. How the palm disintegrated and the other leafy one (I know, as opposed to what: non leafy ones) looked like it had blight? (See, I did pay attention in Botany) What if she refused to sell me any more plants? what if she took a picture of me and circulated it around nurseries saying “Do not sell this woman plants”?

So I lied and said “They’re doing so well that I came back for more”. Actually I didn’t say that because my Hindi vocabulary is restricted to “What time?” “Stop here” “Quarter and half kilo” and now as of this morning includes “one and a half” and “two and a half”. What I actually did was smile shiftily and yell at my son to distract her. It worked. It also made my son cry. Oh well.

So after many questions on my part “Does this need water?” “Does this one need sunlight?” “How often?” “Can I ignore this plant and will it still live?” and her looking increasingly worried and anxious (I think for both the plants and my son. Did I feed my son at all, or like the plants did I make him sit in a darkened corner of the room and deny him all nutrients?) she finally parted with four plants. I am pleased to say that they are all doing well. So far.

Now. About washing my hair.


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