We interrupt our regular non-blogging schedule to bring you this

I’m tired. My back hurts. Could you get me some extra plumpy cushions for my feet? I know it’s 2 am but I would love a glass of water. Not cold but room temperature. That means no ice. Could we have pizza for dinner again? Oh, I ate that last tub of Ben & Jerry’s. Yes. All of it.
When you’re pregnant with your first child, no demand is too outrageous, no whinge is too whiney and no ailment, ache or pain whether real, imaginary or exaggerated is allowed to go by without treatment in the form of more Ben & Jerry’s.
Second pregnancies are a different matter altogether. I know this, because come June my life will be blessed with yet another bundle of pooping, peeing and banshee-crying joy. Hurrah.
I think. I now know why second children feel a bit more ignored and a bit less fussed over. This is because, second pregnancies are from the start, well, just a little less exciting.
Take planning a pregnancy, for instance. The first time round there’s a mixture of apprehension and excitement that you’re about to embark on the adventure known as parenthood (well, ok, that’s what it feels like at the time, though the truth, as well all know, is that parenthood is an adventure if you think finding out what strange colours and smells poo can have is exciting).
The second time around, the planning is more along the lines of “Ok let’s get this over and done with before I turn 30. My back is already giving me problems, I don’t think I’ll have it in me to run after a one-year-old in a few years”.
Even the pregnancy itself seamlessly melds in to your everyday life instead of taking over your life. There are no weekly babycentre updates in my inbox, I haven’t gone out and bought any books (probably because the books I bought the last time round are serving to steady unbalanced tables) and if anyone asks me how many weeks gone I am I don’t have the answer ready but instead have to wait, think hard and then come up with the wrong answer.
People around treat you differently too. There’s none of the fawning and “Oh you shouldn’t be doing that when you’re pregnant” and “Here let me take that from you”. Oh no. You’re a pro now. Morning sickness, loss of bladder control and hormonal mood swings are not looked upon with as much sympathy as they were the first time round and any eccentric food cravings you have, get it yourself lady. I have to guess that people who are pregnant with their fourth and fifth children must be treated with downright contempt.
Of course, one can only hope that this wholly pragmatic approach to second pregnancies naturally follows in to parenting part as well. People say that you’re more relaxed with second children, you aren’t in a rush to sterilise the entire house and its contents every day and that you don’t rush to Google every time their poo is blue. Excessive blueberry eating can do that by the way. See, even the idea of blue poo doesn’t faze me anymore. I’m ready. Bring it on baby.

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