yes, my name is iggle piggle

Sometimes I think the whole point of being a parent is the chance to sit in on one very, very, very long lesson in eating your own words. Before we become parents we’re all so cocky and full of opinions aren’t we? “My future kids will never throw tantrums” “My still-a-twinkle in my partner’s eye will be in bed by seven every night” “My still unfertilised zygote will never watch TV”.
And then we go and commit the biggest mistake (I mean wonder) of our life and have a child. And for those first few months…we’re the perfect parents. We read all the books. We do tummy time. Baby gym. Baby signing (no, that’s not teaching your child how to give an autograph). You read. Sing. Dance. Do flash cards.
But then you cross the fine line that divides ‘perfect parent’ and ‘if I have to sing row row row your boat one more time I’m going to kill myself’ and you realise that being a text book parent is exhausting and not as great as it’s made out to be.
You think to yourself ‘You know what, it’s okay if I let things slide once in a while’.
The first thing to slide in our household was ‘the no TV till he’s two’ diktat. A month or so ago, I was struggling with my toddler’s increasing insistence that he be let in to the bathroom while I showered. Now, while I had no problem with him seeing me take a bath, I did take issue with him using his hand as a toilet plunger. It’s a lot harder to snatch their hands out of the loo when you have suds in your eyes.
And so I found myself following a friend’s lead and plonking my boy in front of the TV while I took a blissfully long, uninterrupted five-minute bath.
It was amazing. I returned from my daily ablution to find him sitting as I had left him. Jaw slack. Eyes glazed over. Totally engrossed in Iggle Piggle, Makka Pakka and Upsy Daisy and their adventures In the Night Garden.
Since then, I’ve realised that Children’s BBC is useful for other things. Like when I need to cook. Or I’m sick. Or he’s sick. Or when I need to write this column.
Yes. You, dear readers are the reason why my son is being forced
to watch TV.
So it’s not like I’m painting my nails and shopping online while he watches Waybuloo. Well, not all the time anyway.
So it’s a win-win situation yes? No. TV watching toddler = Bad, lazy parent = Guilt. Guilt that is not assuaged by frequent media reports that TV will turn my child in to developmentally challenged sociopath with intimacy issues and square eyes. But who’s to say he won’t turn into that anyway?
And so, in addition to be being a narcotic, tool for time-pass and weather informant, our TV has taken on yet another role. Babysitter. And it’s the best kind of. Our Sony can be muted at will. Won’t ever ask for a raise. And there’s little chance of coming in unannounced and finding her making out with the DVD player.

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5 thoughts on “yes, my name is iggle piggle

  1. I feel guilty, is he really going to turn into developmentally challenged sociopath with intimacy issues and square eyes just because we like to read your blog and would like you to blog ?

  2. Heh heh. Strangely enough, though I don’t have kids, I am quite sympathetic to all parents who want to just ‘kill themselves that minute’ – perhaps seeing all of one’s friends and relatives losing pretty much all their free time does that to you 🙂

  3. Ah! The exact boat I am in today! TV is a blessing. I wonder if an inexperienced may be a to-be-mom is going to be judging me just like I was 6 months back.
    Wonder what is going to be happen to me when I fly with my toddler? Will the girl next seat be thinking, like I was, not to ever fly when you have such a stubborn loud child?

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